New perspectives

I grew up where there is not a lot of diversity of race, religion, ethnic group, or even ideas at times. It wasn’t until college that I slowly became exposed to a broader range of people and ideas. Studying abroad, working with folks with mental and physical disabilities, and marrying into a family with a very different background from my own took me out of my comfort zone, but I am grateful for these experiences.

Diversity is magic as it makes the world a much more fascinating place. This topic is on my mind because of the unfortunate divide it sometimes creates when I feel it has the opportunity for us to appreciate and understand one another. We recently visited my husband’s family in Jalisco, Mexico. I continue to be fascinated by our kids’ interactions with their cousins. Despite a language barrier and different backgrounds, they have zero difficulty playing. They are creative in how they communicate with each other and have a blast all day long.

I watched as my four-year-old tried to tell her cousins how to play her made-up game and overheard her say, “Ugh, I don’t understand why you two aren’t listening to me.” The funny thing is they said the same thing about her. But they made it work. They communicated with hand gestures, demonstrations, facial expressions, and laughter.

Taking our kids to the park is another great example where kids can quickly introduce themselves to others and get right to playing. Meanwhile all of us parents stand off to the side, and possibly, rather slowly, and shyly, introduce ourselves to one another. Why is this? I am totally guilty.

Regardless of the scenario, I find it is a fear of uncertainty in interacting with people who may be different from us that holds us back. The first time I met Jose’s family I was scared to speak in Spanish for fear of sounding stupid and feeling incompetent. I am not fluent in Spanish, but I’ve taken a few college courses and was probably the most practiced and knowledgeable the first time I visited.

It’s taken me years to let go and be willing to fail. And I watch my kids do it with ease. For example, my daughter, Mia, really wanted her cousin to go down the waterslides with her. She kept saying, “Martin, let’s go! Follow me!” He didn’t understand so I explained that she could say, “Vamanos!” which means ‘let’s go.’ She quickly adjusted her communication without any doubt or fear of being misunderstood. She repeated it over and over, and they had a blast going down the waterslides together all afternoon.

I love this story as my daughter inspires me to be braver and willing to accept new concepts, ideas, and challenges. Sometimes I wonder, “How much could I accomplish if I exercised the same fearlessness that she does?” The truth is the more I do put myself out there, the more people are willing to help. My in-laws correct my sentences and teach me new words, which in return helps me be a better communicator. More importantly, we’ve developed a closer relationship because we are connecting through a willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other.

We all have biases. It’s neither good nor bad, but simply the filters with which we see the world around us, and helps us notice differences from our social norms. We are all raised differently with unique experiences, so it is natural to have differences in opinions on a wide range of topics. It still isn’t easy, but I continue challenging myself to be open to new perspectives. I look forward to opportunities to have new experiences, hear new ideas, learn from others, and create life-lasting relationships wherever I go.

I hope you have the chance to do the same.